Thursday, May 19, 2011

Embracing Christ's Sacrifice for My Sins

Some years ago, the Spirit opened to my mind a "vision" (in my mind's eye, in the eyes of my understanding). It happened as I was musing, pondering over the testimony of King Benjamin in Mosiah 5 about my need to become a daughter of Christ. Then, while that thought was still sharp in my mind, it was "cross-referenced" in my memory with the words of Mosiah 15:10-12 (see verses below) concerning how only when His soul is made an offering for one's sins could a person become "his seed."

While pondering the overlapping imagery of these two scriptures--becoming a daughter of Christ on the one hand and becoming "his seed" on the other hand--it was as if a picture opened up to my mind, a snippet of imagination (like a few seconds of a video clip).  I seemed to see myself, standing in the middle of the scene from the Savior's last hours when He has been brought before Pilate and the crowds were crying out, demanding, "Crucify him! Crucify him!"  What was even more startling to me was to perceive that I was also speaking the same words in a heart-rending whisper, "Yes, please.  Please crucify Him."

For an instant I was horrified at the thought.  Surely, this must be an evil imagination put into my mind by the devil!  But, then, just as instantly, I realized that tears were streaming down my face--tears of love and tears of staggering grief all at the  same time--and that my plea for Him to be crucified was not borne from a heart filled with rejection and misunderstanding of who He was like the people in the crowd.  My sobbing plea was welling up out my heart where I knew with a crucifying like certainty that if I did not allow Him to be offered as a sacrifice for my sin, I would be forever shut out from the Presence of God.

As this "vision" closed in my mind, I put my head down on my desk and found myself sobbing real tears because I knew that at some point in my premortal past, I had to have uttered words of consent to our Heavenly Father and asked that Jesus be crucified for me so that I might be rescued from my otherwise lost and fallen state.

Even at this moment, as I share these words and personal realities, I am reduced to tears. I cannot come near this sacred truth, shocking as it still feels to my soul, without being crushed with reverence for "my Jesus," and for our (mutual) Father Who sent Him to do this very deed for me.  It is I have to wonder if this may be what other Christians mean when they say they "embrace the cross of Christ."

When this kind of conversion sinks into one's heart, the living of the outward performances (the law) is swallowed up in the Spirit of Love overwhelming love that brings you to your knees not in duty to God, but in knee buckling awe and adoration for Them both Father and Son (and of course, the precious Holy Spirit that quickens our minds and lifts our imaginations as on eagle's wings.)

Mosiah 15:10-12
10 And now I say unto you, who shall declare his generation? Behold, I say unto you, that when his soul has been made an offering for sin he shall see his seed. And now what say ye? And who shall be his seed?
11 Behold I say unto you, that whosoever has heard the words of the prophets, yea, all the holy prophets who have prophesied concerning the coming of the Lord—I say unto you, that all those who have hearkened unto their words, and believed that the Lord would redeem his people, and have looked forward to that day for a remission of their sins, I say unto you, that these are his seed, or they are the heirs of the kingdom of God.
12 For these are they whose sins he has borne; these are they for whom he has died, to redeem them from their transgressions. And now, are they not his seed?

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