Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Pride (the Universal Sin) is a Cover-up for Universal Insecurity/Fear

One of the first insights the Lord gave me about pride was during a conversation with Him about others who I was judging as "prideful," and "stuck-up."  (Isn't that the way it always is.  The old mote-beam disease at work.  Thank goodness He was patient enough with me to administer the medicine (the truth) I needed  this day.

He revealed to me that proud people are (this is His merciful perspective on us as little children) actually very, VERY insecure, frightened people.   Myself included. That when I (we all) are proud--needing to resort to pride (whether it be from "above" or "beneath") I am (we are, they are) actually trying to defend against the attacks of the Liar, Satan, who is always trying to make them feel negative about themselves (me about myself).

We're all so "in this together" -- this mortality "trip" (journey, wilderness, high-adventure camp) experience. We are all just such little children--that's what He showed me in the eyes of my understanding. To Him (and all the other grown-ups back home in heaven-the celestial glory), we are truly as "little children," and I LOVE what He had to say in D&C 50: 40-42:

Ye are little children and cannot bear all things now.
But none of these (you all) which the Father hath given me shall be lost.

Reading that was one increment on the way for me to realize that He is committed to save me no matter what it takes. He will come after this proud little lost lamb that I am.  He will follow me into the darkest abyss if He must.  He has no fear of darkness.  He will follow me into any form of danger and degradation that I need to imagine a metaphor for--leper colony, brothal, whatever . . . He will follow me and come into the equivalent of these places (where I run and hide in my childish pride, driven by Satan's lies to me), and He will take my broken, bruised, crippled soul (body and spirit combined) upon His own shoulders--those shoulders that bore the stripes for me that I might not bear them--and He will carry me out of the dark places I've got myself into in my pride (fear).

He loves me with a love beyond any human comprehension. He has patience and mercy and compassion for me in my immaturity (childish pride). He/They love me (us) beyond our ability to comprehend and God will never, NEVER give up on us.

The only way there will be a final giving up--will be if and when we give up on Him.

It has taken me many years to embrace just how much He loves me. And the more loved I feel, the less I desire to leave Him and run off and use my addictions.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Mortality Is An Exercise in Accepting Imperfection

I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves me and I love Him–enough to accept the gift of this mortal experience.  I know I was warned before I came of how imperfect it would be here–and that I would be imperfect too under these conditions–but since being here, I have fought against such a fallen world–and a fallen me–and I have used food and money and busyness/work/duty to keep me distracted from my pain.  In other words, in one way or another I have sought refuge in some sort of an addictive behavior or dependency on something or someone to keep me from feeling my feelings.

Gradually, over the last 30 years, the Lord has so patiently been allowing me to wake up to the depths of my true feelings–in other words, He has been patiently cradling me, waiting for me to “come to myself” and see life from His point of view–in the Light of His Love for me.  It has taken a long time to persuade me, but recently, I am allowing myself to believe His witness to me that even the hardest times of my mortality–ALL of it without exception has been a gift from Him, that I might learn by my own experience why His way is the only way that brings true happiness.  He has opened my mind and heart to see that this way of growing, of maturing up into the full stature of my potential as a LITERAL child of Deity, of God is the ONLY way it happens.

Mortality is something that every one of us must pass through–whether short or long–according to our calling.  Some of us are called to serve for only a moment here–to fulfill God’s purposes by our brief time in this world, whether that is to bless or test or reveal the hearts of those who we came to.  Others of us are called to labor for many years in this fallen realm, this wilderness camp so far from Home.  We are called to continue here in order that we might fulfill the measure of our creation–the full measure of our mission as we agreed to before we came.  My journey (at least so far) has last almost 63 years and I feel those years both as having flown by and also as having been so long and challenging.  As Lehi said, life passes as if it were a dream.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Trusting and Recording the Counsel and Comfort of the Lord

May 26, 2011

Morning pages, as I learned to call them from Julia Cameron in her book The Artist’s Way, don’t have to just be done in the morning. They can be an act of getting in touch with your own truth and in tune with God’s truth at any time in the day that you can take a few minutes out to retreat and relax and hang out “unto” Him–turn your attention to your truth and His.

In other words, they are a place that you can retreat to and get down and get honest with yourself and God as you best understand God. You can tell God your truth from your finite perspective–admitting that it is definitely finite, but that it’s the best you’ve got at the moment. You can allow God–if you will trust that God is interested enough and close enough (don’t forget the kingdom of God is within you), intimate enough, and kind enough to “whisper” to you through the “still, small voice” of the Spirit–to put thoughts into your mind. Kind thoughts. Patient thoughts. Wise thoughts. Compassionate thoughts toward you and toward all. Understanding thoughts–giving you counsel and guidance, comfort and solace that you will be surprised by, in awe of, and will not be able to go away thinking you came up with on your own.

If you use a quote from the scriptures, the prophets, or other inspiring text to jump start your own thoughts and your exchange with the Lord–that’s what many people call “capturing.” In reality, it could all be considered capturing as in capturing and “pinning down” what you’re needing to admit (your truth) and what the Lord wants to share with you if you are willing to believe He can and will.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Embracing Christ's Sacrifice for My Sins

Some years ago, the Spirit opened to my mind a "vision" (in my mind's eye, in the eyes of my understanding). It happened as I was musing, pondering over the testimony of King Benjamin in Mosiah 5 about my need to become a daughter of Christ. Then, while that thought was still sharp in my mind, it was "cross-referenced" in my memory with the words of Mosiah 15:10-12 (see verses below) concerning how only when His soul is made an offering for one's sins could a person become "his seed."

While pondering the overlapping imagery of these two scriptures--becoming a daughter of Christ on the one hand and becoming "his seed" on the other hand--it was as if a picture opened up to my mind, a snippet of imagination (like a few seconds of a video clip).  I seemed to see myself, standing in the middle of the scene from the Savior's last hours when He has been brought before Pilate and the crowds were crying out, demanding, "Crucify him! Crucify him!"  What was even more startling to me was to perceive that I was also speaking the same words in a heart-rending whisper, "Yes, please.  Please crucify Him."

For an instant I was horrified at the thought.  Surely, this must be an evil imagination put into my mind by the devil!  But, then, just as instantly, I realized that tears were streaming down my face--tears of love and tears of staggering grief all at the  same time--and that my plea for Him to be crucified was not borne from a heart filled with rejection and misunderstanding of who He was like the people in the crowd.  My sobbing plea was welling up out my heart where I knew with a crucifying like certainty that if I did not allow Him to be offered as a sacrifice for my sin, I would be forever shut out from the Presence of God.

As this "vision" closed in my mind, I put my head down on my desk and found myself sobbing real tears because I knew that at some point in my premortal past, I had to have uttered words of consent to our Heavenly Father and asked that Jesus be crucified for me so that I might be rescued from my otherwise lost and fallen state.

Even at this moment, as I share these words and personal realities, I am reduced to tears. I cannot come near this sacred truth, shocking as it still feels to my soul, without being crushed with reverence for "my Jesus," and for our (mutual) Father Who sent Him to do this very deed for me.  It is I have to wonder if this may be what other Christians mean when they say they "embrace the cross of Christ."

When this kind of conversion sinks into one's heart, the living of the outward performances (the law) is swallowed up in the Spirit of Love overwhelming love that brings you to your knees not in duty to God, but in knee buckling awe and adoration for Them both Father and Son (and of course, the precious Holy Spirit that quickens our minds and lifts our imaginations as on eagle's wings.)

Mosiah 15:10-12
10 And now I say unto you, who shall declare his generation? Behold, I say unto you, that when his soul has been made an offering for sin he shall see his seed. And now what say ye? And who shall be his seed?
11 Behold I say unto you, that whosoever has heard the words of the prophets, yea, all the holy prophets who have prophesied concerning the coming of the Lord—I say unto you, that all those who have hearkened unto their words, and believed that the Lord would redeem his people, and have looked forward to that day for a remission of their sins, I say unto you, that these are his seed, or they are the heirs of the kingdom of God.
12 For these are they whose sins he has borne; these are they for whom he has died, to redeem them from their transgressions. And now, are they not his seed?

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Not Assignments to Fulfill, but Promises to Trust

As I awoke earlier this morning and spent my first hour of this new day in counsel with Him, He gave me a list of promises (sort of like Benjamin's in Mosiah 4:12-16). Not assignments to fulfill, but promises He was offering me--if I would look to Him and put all my faith IN HIM, and have hope IN HIM and love Him first above all others, then I would be empowered through His grace to do things that I could never do on my own.

You see, without God, I am nothing. Or in other words, I am such a mystic/spiritually minded, spiritually oriented person. What those words mean to me is that I can't survive in this world without giving absolutely TOP priority to the spiritual dimension of life. If I don't look to God to live, I slide into such sorrow and despair over all that is going on in this world today. I don't know how anyone else is surviving, considering the way virtually all earthly sources of security are failing or threatening to fail at any minute. To me there is no hope but in my personal communion with God--both my Father and my Savior.

I prayed to my Father for the Gift of the Holy Ghost--expressing that it was THE one gift that I desired more than any earthly thing this morning, and almost in an instant the words (thoughts) of peace and comfort and counsel from "my Jesus" (see 2 Nephi 33:6) began to come to my mind and that hope and peace that makes no sense (that “passeth understanding"–Philipians 4:7) under the present circumstances--started to flow into my soul. I felt my body and my mind relax at the sound of the Master's voice, the touch of the Master's hand. And I rejoice to declare with Paul:

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? . . . For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:35, 38-39)

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Who Shall Separate Us from the Love of Christ? (Romans 8:35)

My capturing of Romans 8:35, written May 15, 2011:

In other words: Who shall I allow to separate me from the love I have from and for the Lord Jesus Christ?

In other words: Whose opinion of me, interpretation of me, definition, estimation, analysis of me will I allow to separate me from His opinion, interpretation, definition, estimation of me?

And in the spirit of humility and inventory, I see that THAT is exactly what I've been doing, and I am filled with the desire to cry out to Him, with tears (just as the father did in Mark 9) and beg Him to forgive me and accept my imperfect trust/faith/believe in His words to me, of His testimony of me.

I pray for His forgiveness and it is given before I can finish asking, and I marvel at that. I say to Him, "Dearest Lord God--beloved Savior, holy Jesus--I am humbled and pierced through to my heart and with tears I cry out to Thee and pray for Thy mercy and forgiveness. And before I can even finish the thought, much less the words, I find the reason already gone. I come to the end of the sentence and already find no reason--as if it wasn't necessary. Please, Lord, I am certainly not trying to assume or pretend that I am in no need of forgiveness. I know that I am in need of Thy mercy and Thy patience and thus, Thy forgiveness, always."

And I perceived (heard with my spiritual ears--D&C 136:32) Him answer me, "Colleen, and just as often--always--you live in a state of forgiveness, of mercy, of grace. All it takes to bring it to your consciousness is your faith in My word, in My love for you."

And I replied, "Then it is true what some teach, that we are already in a state of redemption because of Your goodness and mercy toward us?"

And I perceived Him answer me, "Yes, it is true. It is true that everything that any of you do that is done in childish ignorance, due to spiritual immaturity is already forgiven. That is what is testified of in these words: Yea, and as often as my people repent will I forgive them their trespasses against me. (Mosiah 26:30)

And in the eyes of my understanding, I seemed to see this truth: That the difference between the exact same act being considered a "sin" or considered a "transgression" is the degree of spiritual maturity of the person doing the act. How foolishly (childishly) are they making the choice or how maturely (knowing God and doing the act anyway, not out of foolish weakness, but out of deliberate choice)? This isn't a matter of me "knowing better" (having been told by someone not to choose as I did). This difference between my choice being a sin or being a transgression is how much do I desire in my heart to be one of those Christ can refer to as "my people." If I desire to be one of His--as Mosiah 5 puts it, "a son or daughter" of Christ--and I do the act compulsively, (i.e. foolishly, childishly), then it is a transgression, not a sin. It is the act of a weak and still stumbling child, and in His longsuffering and patience toward me He forgives it, even I would forgive a toddler's stumbles and falls.

Thus, I have come to know Him (His character) and to know by His own testimony to me that no one else's opinion of me (faith in me) matters more than His faith in me--which He has an infinite degree of. So, whose opinion of me, whose faith or lack of faith in me, will I choose to mean more to me than His?

I pray to continue to progress towards being able to answer that question firmly: No one shall separate me from the love Christ has expressed toward me nor from the love I have awakened to for Him. In His love for and faith in me, I am held firm, and in my love for and faith in Him, I am secure, sufficient, safe, and sane.

And I pray that my periods of forgetting to cleave unto Him as He desires to cleave unto me (Jacob 6:5) will grow shorter and fewer as I practice having this degree, His degree, of forgiveness (instantaneous) and faith in me.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

A Vision of Our Origin and Our Destiny

 I was going through some files on my computer, this morning, reviewing past capturing from the Book of Mormon and found this entry which was originally written September 15, 2007.   I felt the Spirit of Truth (of Christ) invite me to share it here this morning.

1 Nephi 1:1-20

            1 I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents, therefore I was taught somewhat in all the learning of my father; and having seen many afflictions in the course of my days, nevertheless, having been highly favored of the Lord in all my days; yea, having had a great knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of God, therefore I make a record of my proceedings in my days.

I have written about this verse so much. Having been born of goodly parents. 


That's true!  I do come from "goodly parents," and Grandparents, and Great-Grandparents.  I do have a Family!  I actually have generations upon generations of Those who have already entered into the state of existence we know of as “eternal life,” who have chosen to grow up unto the full potential of the Human Spirit.

I see.  There are so many in this world today (like Scott Peck for example, and C.S. Lewis), who have said, out loud, that they could see that the full potential of the human spirit would be (or already is) to progress into godliness and possibly even into Godhood.

And this morning, as I prayed, I was shown (REMINDED), that there are human beings, out there in the reaches of this universe (UNIVERSES WITHOUT NUMBER) who have already done exactly that.  They have attained Their full potential as adults of our kind, or our species.

That is how infinite the vision of the human potential is that Mormonism encompasses.  That's the explanation for the existence of human kind.  That's the understanding of our past (where we came from) and our potential future (where we can go if we choose to.)

I feel to the depths of my soul, the truth of this vision.  I have seen that vision of my own potential when, maybe two decades or longer ago, I sat and wrote about how, when I turn and look inside myself, I find myself gazing into a vastness equal to the most current images of deepest space.  And, today, even with the images that the Hubble telescope has sent back to us indicating that there appears to be no limit to what is "out there," that witness of the Truth to my soul about myself has not diminished:  That there is no limit to the depths and breadth and heights of what lies within me as well.

And this is not only the truth just about myself.  It is the truth about every human being.  I have God's own word on that.  And God does not lie. (Book of Mormon, Enos 1:6.)

© 2011 Colleen C. Harrison

Sunday, February 27, 2011

When Did I Get to Be So "Mystical" (Spiritually-minded?)

It started before I was born. That's what I learned from LDS doctrine after I became a Mormon. Up until learning that I had a premortal life, all I knew was what I felt in my core and recorded in a flimsy (and long lost) spiral notebook when I was about 13 (1 year before I ever even heard of the LDS faith):

I know that I've lived in a world, somewhere, other than this world. A world where there was no hate and cruelty and loneliness. I feel so homesick for that world sometimes.

Actually, it was well before 13 that my mystic inclinations began manifesting in me. In A Voice from the Fire I wrote this about two of my earliest childhood memories:

My first sense of the mystical life, though of course I didn't know what to call it back then, came to me at about five years of age . . . Already seeking that Something I could feel pulsating in and through all things, [I spent hours in the "three-foot-tall spring grass in the fields near my parents' house"] . . . and "I found my first awareness of heaven, since falling to earth." (p.47)

And again, on page 48, I wrote:

Some nights . . . I would haul a blanket and pillow out onto the lawn and lie on my back and let the infinite come down out of the stars and cover me . . .I was loved and I knew it. . . . The UNKNOWN GOD whom Paul preached to the men of Athens introduced Himself to me long before I knew His name, or knew that someday, I would be called by His name (Mosiah 5:7)

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

The Words of Eternal Life (Christ's own words) Are Available to Every Believing Heart

These are not just the printed scriptures. Those are definitely “the words of eternal life,” or in other words, “the words of Christ,” given to those prophets through the Holy Ghost. (See 2 Nephi 32:3.) But the amazing thing is that we can receive the “words of eternal life,” (the words of Christ) through the Holy Ghost directly to our own minds and hearts. This is the principle of personal revelation–and it is the foundation principle of the entire Restoration of Christ’s true church in these latter-days.

This is what it means to be “spiritually-minded,” as it is so plainly stated in 2 Nephi 9:39– “Remember, to be carnally–minded is death, and to be spiritually–minded is life eternal.”

The Lord, Himself, stated it again in John 5:39–“Search the scriptures; for in them ye think ye have eternal life: and they are they which testify of me.”

And they are they which testify of Him, of His goodness, of His generosity and willingness to come to us and guide us one-one-one through His direct Spirit/Light and also through the Holy Ghost. What greater gift can there a person receive from and through the Holy Spirit than to hear even more clearly the “words of Christ” which words will tell us in all things “what ye should do.” (See 2 Nephi 32:3 again.)

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Savoring the Word of the Lord This Morning, part 3

And as I came to this point, I saw with sharpness (plainness, clarity) that in all these things, there is no mention of any one doing any righteousness of their own. Even in Nephi’s psalm, he is asking the Lord to do the delivering, the redeeming, the saving, the rescuing. Nephi is not thinking in terms, even for a second, of saving himself–except in one way: in trusting in the Lord. That is the perfect use of the will. To give my whole soul as an offering unto Jesus Christ (Omni 1:26). My whole soul–body, spirit, mind, heart. This is the ultimate meaning of “the pure love of Christ,” – to give ourselves without reservation to Him, so that through His grace and power He can sanctify us and purify us by His living presence indwelling in us through the Holy Spirit. He, even Jesus Christ–in Spirit and in Truth–is the Holy Spirit’s greatest, highest and purest manifestation in us. This is what He, Christ meant, when He spoke of the Holy Ghost in John 14:16-17 and then immediately promised to come unto us Himself in verse 18, “I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.”

In and through the Holy Ghost, a being of spirit who can dwell in us, we have the indwelling presence of the Lord Jesus Christ Himself, if we will just believe and receive His offer. And through Him, of course, we are made one with our Father in Heaven in at least a portion of that oneness that we will inherit a fullness of in the eternal future.

The only thing that can stop us from that outcome is our own choice, just as we are taught in D&C 88:32.

32 And they who remain shall also be quickened; nevertheless, they shall return again to their own place, to enjoy that which they are willing to receive, because they were not willing to enjoy that which they might have received.

Well, it has been over two hours and over three pages since I began to record this morning’s prayer and communion with the Lord through the blessing of the scriptures and of capturing (opening my mind and heart to His Spirit and the thoughts, insights and wisdom He is so eager to share with any of us). I will end here, though it is an “artificial” end. Why? Because in truth, there is no end to His words (Moses 1:38) and His willingness to share with us all that we are willing and ready to receive from Him. (See Joseph Smith, The Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 350; Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith (Relief Society and Priesthood manual), p. 268-269.)

I share this morning’s sweetness and richness without fear–looking to Him and His glory, and none of my own, for without Him I am reduced to a state of 100% hopelessness and bondage, because you see, I am an addict or in other words, I am one of those thoroughly mortal people most familiar with the bondage of the Liar. Without frequent–as close to continuous as I will humble myself to seek it–conscious contact with God, I am instantly set upon by a legion of fears and other lying influences. As President Benson once put it, I cannot survive on a “lukewarm” connection to God. (See President Ezra Taft Benson, “The Great Commandment——Love the Lord,” Ensign, May 1988, 4.)

I have no hope but to seek the Holy Ghost with all my heart and through Him cling to Jesus Christ like a drowning person would cling to her rescuer.

I offer this living, in-this-hour testimony in the Name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Savoring the Word of the Lord This Morning, part 2

And now, here I am following my heart to sup and savor on another verse and allow the sweetness of my Savior’s words flow to me through it. And with joy I find that it is a verse from the precious Book of Mormon. I could not bring just the one verse. The surrounding verses (2 Nephi 4:31-34) are so delicious to my soul. Why? Because through them, the great prophet Nephi teaches me by precept and by example the way I (and we all) need to relate to the Lord Jesus Christ, our Deliverer and our Redeemer and our God:

31 O Lord, wilt thou redeem my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt thou make me that I may shake at the appearance of sin?

32 May the gates of hell be shut continually before me, because that my heart is broken and my spirit is contrite! O Lord, wilt thou not shut the gates of thy righteousness before me, that I may walk in the path of the low valley, that I may be strict in the plain road!

33 O Lord, wilt thou encircle me around in the robe of thy righteousness! O Lord, wilt thou make a way for mine escape before mine enemies! Wilt thou make my path straight before me! Wilt thou not place a stumbling block in my way—but that thou wouldst clear my way before me, and hedge not up my way, but the ways of mine enemy.

34 O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm.

And using Nephi’s words as my guide, I pray, even as one with Nephi, even as one with Alma (Alma 36:18), even as one with the Nephites who He dwelt in the midst of (Nephi 19:25) for He dwells just as surely in my “midst,” or in other words in my heart.

31 Oh, Lord Jesus, wilt Thou redeem my soul (body as well as spirit)? Wilt Thou deliver me out of the hands of my weaknesses, my addictions and in influence of my fallen nature represented by the corruptible blood that carries mortal influences throughout my body? Wilt Thou most literally, shake me within, dear Lord, at even the appearance in my mind of the temptation to separate myself from Thy heart and mind and will for me.

32 May the gates of hell–the influence and enticing of the Liar, Satan, be shut continually before me, dear Lord–through the intervention of Thee and of Thy righteousness. Allow me, O Lord, to walk always within the gates, within the bounds, the safety of Thy righteousness. Let me never forget that it is Thy righteousness and none of my own that will keep me in the degree of humility and strictness of the plain path I must follow in regards to my addiction. I see once again, Lord, that it is only in Thee that I can find the humility to be satisfied with a life of such plainness and strictness around my weaknesses.

33 And thus I must cry out unto Thee, dearest Christ Jesus–even as Nephi, even as Alma and even as all others who have come to know their own destitution without Thee. O Lord, wilt Thou encircle me about in the robes of Thy righteousness, for my life has proven that I have no righteousness–no ability to chose the right–that can ever triumph over my enemies–Satan’s legions? Wilt Thou make my path straight before me and empower me–in Thy grace and Thy righteousness to walk it? Wilt Thou bless me to never forget that is not through a single merit of my own that any good work is done, but wholly through Thy merits and Thy power that I am empowered to chose the right? Wilt Thou bless me to never forget that there is no safety and no hope and no comfort that can keep me safe from Satan’s desire to drag me down into hell even from this moment except to cleave to Thee and allow Thee to hold me close to Thy heart within Thine own robes. Wilt Thou keep me safe from wandering even one step away from Thee, dear Jesus, for immediately I find myself stumbling and falling over the fearful thoughts my enemies taunt and torment me with. Wilt Thou hedge up the ways of my enemies, dear Lord? Wilt Thou keep them from reaching me with their lies?

34 O Lord, I have trusted in Thee! I see that so plainly now. I trusted in Thee and followed Thee into this mortality just as is symbolized by Lehi’s dream in 1 Nephi 8:5-8. And just as Lehi, I have also traveled for “many hours in darkness,” until I did become desperate enough to cry out unto Thee, my Savior, and open a channel of communication with Thee heart to heart. Oh Lord, I will accept Thy invitation, Thy longing plea to me to receive Thee and surrender to Thee as my Lord and my God and allow Thee to rule and reign over me in and through Thy heart which Thou hast placed in me, even as Thou promised in Ezekiel 36:26-27:

26 A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.

27 And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments, and do them.

To be continued . . .

Savoring the Word of the Lord This Morning, part 1

February 1, 2011

7:14 a.m. I woke up about 15 minutes ago and began to pray with my first conscious thoughts–or within seconds of coming conscious and realizing that I had the gift of yet one more day in this life. I prayed unto the Father in the Name of Christ and asked for that which I most desire–personal revelation of Christ’s words and heart and mind and will to me today. Feeling the sweet indwelling warmth of the Holy Spirit’s abiding companionship, I was assured that in His presence I enjoy atonement with the Son in Spirit and in Truth, and through Him with the Father of us all–the Most High God.

And immediately, I prayed to have a knowledge of His will for me and the power to carry it out given to me. I prayed to know, “Lord, what would Thou have me do?” and immediately the answer came, “Follow your heart, Colleen!” With authority, with finality–and I knew God could not lie. And before I could be set upon by fearful, lying influences and the fearful thoughts they whisper, I both heard and saw the Truth: “I am your heart, Colleen!” And suddenly my heart filled with the fire of God, of Christ. No, it did more than fill with Him. That’s not enough “as one.” That is two one inside the other. That is not atonement. Atonement is becoming as one. It is becoming as much of a celestial being as I can stand to be under the present veiled, muffled circumstances. It is the ultimate meaning of becoming the best person I can be.

“Follow you heart, Colleen, means the exact same thing as follow Me. Take no counsel from the Liar. Take no counsel from anyone. Believe your heart and follow it in meekness and in power. Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth. I have given you flesh dedicated to following Me, dedicated to following you in Me and Me in You–our atonement. Do not give another thought to the opinions of men, lean not onto the arm of flesh or onto thine own understanding.”

Lord, I am filled with desire to savor and sup deeply from the verses in which those thoughts are treasured up and showcased.

“Do so, Beloved Friend.”

I find the first in 2 Chronicles 32: 7-8 –

7 Be strong and courageous, be not afraid nor dismayed for the king of Assyria, nor for all the multitude that is with him: for there be more with us than with him:

8 With him is an arm of flesh; but with us is the LORD our God to help us, and to fight our battles. And the people rested themselves upon the words of Hezekiah king of Judah.

I hear Christ open these verses and speak to me through them:

“Colleen, be strong and courageous, be not afraid nor dismayed by the Enemy, Satan, nor the multitude that he has persuaded to believe him, for in Me and your giving your heart to me to be my dwelling place, my abode, you have all the powers of God and Godliness that are expedient for you and that you can bear while yet in mortality. Do not put your time or attention on the counsel of humanistic (arm of flesh) counselors and “experts.” Turn to Me and seek My counsel and My wisdom, and I, the Lord your God will go before you and fight your battles. I invite you, my dear sister, daughter and friend to enter into My rest from this time henceforth until time is no more and you are received into a fulness of My rest and my glory in heaven.”

And I answered Him, still hesitating a little, still wondering how it could possibly be true that someone as flawed and imperfect as myself could be blessed with this fullness of rescue, of redemption, of recovery, of atonement, even while still mortal, “Lord, how is this done?” And I saw nothing but Him, felt nothing but His goodness and mercy, His patience, His kindness, His faith in me, His love of me, His adoration, in fact, of me. As a Father would adore His infant child and give His life to save hers. And I had my answer and ceased to give any attention to the Father of Lies and rested in the robes of Christ’s Light, of Christ’s Spirit, of Christ’s righteousness and came here to this computer and began recording this journal entry.

To be continued in part 2 . . .