Sunday, August 21, 2011

Mortality Is An Exercise in Accepting Imperfection

I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves me and I love Him–enough to accept the gift of this mortal experience.  I know I was warned before I came of how imperfect it would be here–and that I would be imperfect too under these conditions–but since being here, I have fought against such a fallen world–and a fallen me–and I have used food and money and busyness/work/duty to keep me distracted from my pain.  In other words, in one way or another I have sought refuge in some sort of an addictive behavior or dependency on something or someone to keep me from feeling my feelings.

Gradually, over the last 30 years, the Lord has so patiently been allowing me to wake up to the depths of my true feelings–in other words, He has been patiently cradling me, waiting for me to “come to myself” and see life from His point of view–in the Light of His Love for me.  It has taken a long time to persuade me, but recently, I am allowing myself to believe His witness to me that even the hardest times of my mortality–ALL of it without exception has been a gift from Him, that I might learn by my own experience why His way is the only way that brings true happiness.  He has opened my mind and heart to see that this way of growing, of maturing up into the full stature of my potential as a LITERAL child of Deity, of God is the ONLY way it happens.

Mortality is something that every one of us must pass through–whether short or long–according to our calling.  Some of us are called to serve for only a moment here–to fulfill God’s purposes by our brief time in this world, whether that is to bless or test or reveal the hearts of those who we came to.  Others of us are called to labor for many years in this fallen realm, this wilderness camp so far from Home.  We are called to continue here in order that we might fulfill the measure of our creation–the full measure of our mission as we agreed to before we came.  My journey (at least so far) has last almost 63 years and I feel those years both as having flown by and also as having been so long and challenging.  As Lehi said, life passes as if it were a dream.

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